Post 13

Time: 9:52 am PST                                                                                         Roseville, Ca

I have come to this conclusion, no matter how hard I try I can never get my self to write a blog post every single day. I mean, I have tried to do this a million times, long before the internet or any social media came into being. I had diaries, many of them are still with me. I would start by writing 34-5 entries and then loose interest, be blissfully oblivious of the promise I made to my self, of writing every single day. Each New Year I would make a resolution and then before the first month of the year was over, all resolutions forgotten and another year, another diary gone. This syndrome continued for years, diaries gave way to MS word entries and finally blogs. 

So knowing me, I have now decided, I shall write as and when I feel like, and when I want to and have

something to share. This last week has been manic, with all the fifa world cup games, all the excitement and the upsets, it is hardly surprising that something unexpected happens. Thursday is going to be interesting. Well fingers crossed , may the best team win. On the reading front, summer brings the book club challenge. I signed up for it, so in the last 2 weeks I am down 2 books, well almost and before July is over I have 4 more to finish, if I want to well win the book club challenge. I have no Idea how on earth am I suppose to do that. But challenges get me excited. I am up for it. by the way, my swimming classes are finally over. I finished last week. It was so much fun and now I can swim, well not an ace swimmer or anything but I go under water, I am so glad  I did this and it is off my list :)

In the world of Tarot, well that has taken a back seat, I haven't had a chance to read the cards in a the last week, but I would be getting back to it soon. I have a list of requests to take care of. Well that is all for now.

Till the Next time

Au Revoir Mon'Amie

Day 11/12

Time : 7:01 pm                                                                                                       Roseville, Ca

Do we like surprises, well yes, most of the times that is. There has been something I have been wanting for quite some time, it is expensive so I just couldn't go to the store and pick it up without thinking of the repercussion it would have on our monthly budget. There was a couple of times I asked my Husband to which his response was well not exactly a No but non-committal , so I was resigned to the fact that perhaps it is not the right time or may be I shouldn't be too greedy. So I sort of gave up on the idea. That was until yesterday, when Pritish came home with a package and handed it over to me, I asked him what it was and he said, open it and when I did, I was completely taken back, the very thing I have been wanting all this time. 

I was at a total loss for words, I wanted to cry, and laugh and say so much but I was left dumb struck. All I kept saying was he knew all this while that I wanted it, I wished for it, He would catch he looking at it in the store but never said anything. He looked at me and said "What? Just because you do not ask does not mean I do not know how badly you wanted it. I just wanted to surprise you and see the look on your face; A million Dollar Expression." What can I say I did have the strangest possible look on my face.

He made my day and many more days to come. Yes, big surprises often come in small packages

Speaking of surprises, did any of you manage to catch the Netherlands vs Spain game what a shocker.. 5 goals for ND and 1 for Spain.. Who ever said revenge is a dish best served cold was so correct.. This was payback time for fifa world cup 2010 finals.. One of the best matches in a long long time. Oh wel otherwise weekend has been rather busy, social commitments, errands to run and what not.. More on that in my next post. Till then have a brilliant weekend 

Au revoir Mon'Amie

 

Day 10

Time : 11:33 pm               Roseville, Ca

This is the first time I am blogging from my phone so got to keep it short and sweet. Well I had a very tiring day and I am all tucked in now so can't be bothered to pull my self to the laptop.
I have have been in and out of my home all day ; first swimming then grocery shopping, then picking up new crockery and then multiple errands and in between fifa world cup.

What a match and I am so glad  to have caught it.. I am a football yes, I like to call that and not soccer . Blame it on my British upbringing.  I am adicted to the game. I plan to catch most of the games well let us see.. the world cup fever has gripped pretty much the entire world and it is one game that brings so many countries together.. what a wonderful idea.. one game may nation united by the love of sport...

Anyway that is all for today. Time to sleep... until next time

Au revoir Mon'Amie

Day 9

Time : 10:35 pm                                                                                                       Roseville, Ca

When I look back, I often wonder how I came about becoming a Tarot reader. I mean no one in my family had ever heard of Tarot. It all began while I was taking French lessons and there was a story, I do not remember exactly what it was, but it had something to do with Tarot and our teacher asked if anyone knew what it was. There was one lady who said she did and that she was a reader. She brought her cards next day and just for a fun evening we did readings. I wasn't convinced that cards could tell your future and based on my belief, I asked her something I knew would never come true. But something odd happened that day the Tarot reader looked at me and said, we should meet again, alone that is and I was like why would she want to meet me. I forgot all about it , but as days went by she kept on asking me as to when would I visit her. I finally gave in, but not alone. I was skeptical, very nervous. What did she want from me?  So I asked my dad to come with me.

All I remember was that she did a couple of readings for dad and then took me aside and said Nandini I think you should try your hands with the cards, I was surprised, she said as in try reading then. I looked her as if she spoke to me in a foreign language and I was like I have never read cards before, I do not know how it is done. She gave me her cards and said to start with keep these cards with you for 7 days and then tell me how you feel? Well to be honest the first 3 days I did not care about them. I told myself I would give the cards back to her. It was only on the fifth day that I decided I might as well have  look at them before I gave it back to her. By the seventh day I was so hooked on to them that I called her and said I wanted to learn.. She told he you cannot teach tarot, it has to come for with in and your calling has come. She gave me a couple of books to start with and thus began my tarot journey. It has been 10 years since this story. Today Tarot is a part of my life, my very existence.

Tarot has taught me so much in these last 10 years, I see life in a whole new perspective and it has helped me to see things differently. It has guided me through my trouble time, given me valuable advice, Mostly, it has helped me to develop a creative approach toward solving problems and evaluate situations practically as well as be insightful at the same time. It has allowed me to connect with people on deeper emotional level. The lessons Tarot has taught me are valuable, perhaps far more than life it self. The cards have been my best friend, my guardian angel, and my teacher. Today after so many years, the cards are like my mirror , my alter ego and whenever I fall, they catch me, even pick me up. 

When I stated reading I was like the fool, not knowing about the road and the journey that lies ahead, yet full of zest and excitement. 10 years on, life has come full circle, I am the World now, seen it been on it and I have to say totally loved every bit of it. A blogger friend asked me whether it affected my belief in God. If anything it has only strengthen by faith, I believe, God willed it this way and He wanted me to grow and evolve through this process. I am glad I can give back to people and share this wonderful gift with them.
Though I agree it is sometimes hard to believe it has been 10 years... 

Right on, I wanted to share my Tarot journey with my readers and what it means to me.. The body demands sleep and the bed beckons. Till next time then...

Au revoir Mon' Amie

P.S. Day 3 of swimming lessons went better than expected... I am totally loving this and a lady even came to me saying girl you are brave enough to learn swimming even after growing up...  Well you see you are never too old to learn , be it Swimming or Tarot.. :) As long as you have the will to do so. 

Day 8

Time: 10:40 pm                                                                                                        Roseville, Ca

It is always so refreshing to talk to your mother. Mothers have so much love to give and all of it is  un-conditional. Mother is a security blanket, no matter how old you are they are always there for you ( well I am guessing most of them are). Mother  to me is like a giant oak trees with deep roots holding us, binding us all together. She is   strong, unmoving, caring, patient, nurturing and ever forgiving. We might forget to do our bit but they remember and no matter where ever you go in life, you know you are always home when it comes to your mother.  Rudyard Kipling could not be more right when he said God could not be everywhere therefore he created Mothers. I have been very lucky in this sense, I do not have one but two wonderful mothers my my ma ( mum-in-law) and my mum. I feel twice blessed. Something I am so grateful to God for.

Anyhow enough of reflecting. Today's swimming class was swell to say the least. I am in my second day and I did not use a flotation device. I am so proud of me. This was something on my wish list for a long long time. I still have 7 more classes to go and I cannot wait to learn more.

Of other things, I need to sit with my Tarot cards. It has been a couple of days since I worked with them. This swimming thing has been draining all my energy. As we head towards a full moon in  less than a week's , this might be the ideal time to get the cards out.  Well that is all I have for today. Time to hit the sack.. Until next time

Au revoir Mon'Amie

Day 7

Time: 11:00 pm                                                        Roseville, Ca

When there is something you have wanting to do for ever and finally the day arrives when you actually get down to doing it, how is it that you are suppose to feel? Happy yes, excited yes, but I guess the one  that is most prevalent is perhaps mixed feelings. For instance I finally made it to the swimming lessons I have been wanting to take all my life. As a child mum would never let me near the water, let alone swim. There were a couple of lessons that I took in school and getting mum to agree to that was a nightmare. For some reason she was convinced that if I ever went anywhere near the water, I would not come back alive. So that was the end of my swimming.

It was not until 20 years later and 2 continents, that I finally, had a chance to take that plunge; literally I mean. Pritish has been very supportive all through, his idea, you have to take a leap of faith at times to find out whether you are meant to or not. But then whilst I was happy that I got myself to swim, somewhere, I felt I was disobeying my mum. I don’t know even now when I am way passed 30 a part of me still feels, I should abide by here, hence the whole mixed emotions thing. When I informed her over the phone, regarding my plans, she was, lets just say not elated about the whole thing, but then she did say you are old enough to take a call and yes “BE CAREFUL”. 

Anyhow moving on, from all the emotional saga… Swimming was fun I had my first lessons and now I know what it feels to take that first plunge. Having said that, every bone in my body hurts, but the pain is sweet. The classes continue for the next two weeks and I am ever more excited to learn all that there is to swimming. I shall make my share of mistakes, but I will be happier to learn from them.  For  now sleep beckons. Until the next time;

Au revoir Mon’Amie 

P.S. Mum I love you but I am sorry I am going to do this and I am pretty sure I will make it out of the water.. alive 

Day 6

Time 8:30 pm                                                                 Roseville, Ca

Sundays are precious, they come once every 7 days and then last just a day. Before you know it is gone. But Sundays are good when  you have friends around. Over lazy lunches and unending cocktail glasses with accompanied with endless chitchats and laughter, Sundays become beautiful.  But then what starts must end and it is time to gear up for the week to come.

Tomorrow is a special day, it is 9th June, a year since we lost Dimdims. Yes, one whole year she’s been gone. It is indeed hard to believe. But then time does fly and you learn to deal with the grief. Though I am certain it does not get any easier but one learns to accept it and move on; the scar remains. It will be specially hard for my ma, given that she is not keeping well and I am a million miles away. But then Dad is there and he is  a rock solid anchor for ma. She will sail through. 

Moving on, California is in desperate need of rains, as monsoon hits India, we are pining for a few drops and there is no sign what so ever. It is almost as it Delhi is taking its revenge on us, twice over I would say. 40 degrees Celsius is cruel anywhere.

Tomorrow, I start my swimming lessons. There was a time ages and eons back when I used to swim. But then I lost touch with the water world. Now with the mercury rising, it is time I took the plunge again. A new phase in life, very fittingly on a day when Dimdims moved to a higher plain. I guess it was willed this way.

But for now dinner beckons and the stomach demands food. Until next time..

Au revoir Mon’Amie

Day 5

Time: 11:16                                                         Location Roseville, Ca

Weekend is here and before you know it, half of it is gone too..  Saturday brought good news; a childhood friend is engaged. Congratulations Charis and Dennis. I am very happy for you guys. With God’s grace may you have a wonderful and happy life. 

Where there is happiness, there is also pain. I was informed of the sudden and untimely passing of a family friend. He died of a heart attack. hail and hearty one day and you are gone the next. Life is so unpredictable. Makes you realise, that enjoy every moment of what you have, for you may not get another chance. I am still reeling in shock May is barely over and disaster strikes once again. 

But then life goes on no matter what…

Moving on, I did however manage to catch up on some quality time with the Husband ( In case I did not mention his name , its Pritish). Some times simple pleasures in life are the ones you ought to treasure the most, like a cup of coffee, a lively chat. That is what we did at our local Starbucks, followed by a rather enjoyable sojourn at Barnes and Nobles, I love that book shop. There is so much to read in this world, so very little time. Sometimes you wonder one life time is not enough.

That apart; I have friends over for lunch tomorrow so lots to do. Must go now, till the next time..

Au revoir Mon’Amie  

Day 4

Day 4                 Time:      12:09                Location: Roseville, Ca

It felt so good to write again, I was back in my comfort zone. Words just seen to pour out. I am glad I resurrected my blog finally. Moving on, yesterday was busy I had some errands to run and then off course I had a whole host of tarot readings to do. I have been meaning to sit with my cards for a while, a friend's request,  father's query and a husband's curious mind, all need to be looked into. I finally did manage to to resolve some of the issues and it was an interesting session after all. The readings went on for quite some time and trust me you reel from a post reading syndrome. It is tiring, your mind is over active, and you are constantly diving into your intuitive self, and that coupled with a back ache may not be the best of the business. I am yet to recover from yesterday's session. I feel exhausted and sleepy but then there is no time for that.

I promised the Husband a Friday night special dinner I would cook and then I have friends coming over on Sunday and if that wasn't enough I have a trip planned to Ikea that I have been putting on the back burner for a while. The weekend looks like it is full of swift action.. Then Monday week (6/9) I start a new phase, of which I shall talk in my subsequent posts. So I right now I kind of feel like the 8 of Wands, too much happening , too much to do in a short span.. But the good thing is that I am not moping or sulking, Sometimes it is good to be busy, it gets you moving.

Speaking of cooking, I do have a food blog at http://www.bongkitchens.wordpress.com do drop by. 

Right got to run now lots to do, I shall be back again sometime tomorrow to chronicle my thoughts... till then

Au revoir Mon'Ami

Finding a way back..

Its been a while since I last wrote. Almost a year. So much has happened over the last one year. To start with I have changed 3 houses 2 countries, lost a loved one, worked, quit my job, became a full time Tarot reader and a holistic healer , yet one thing has remained constant, my desire to reflect and that has brought me back here, place I once called home, a place more familiar than the back of my hands. I have experienced countless emotions here and this wall like a faithful friend has given a patient ear. I have, since tried to write in many places, diaries, other blogs but none have made me feel as comforting and as welcome as Random Musing. 

This blog was born out of extreme grief. I had just lost  Dimdims, (my maternal Grandma) and she was the closest thing I had to my mom. I could not come to terms with the loss and honestly, I still have not. I wanted to unleash every single emotion I had bottled in me since her passing and thus came Random Musing.  But the grief was so deep even the Wall ( as I like to call my blog) could not rescue me. I know it sounds insane, but somewhere I blamed myself for her passing. I kept telling me that if only I was there, she would see me and she would recover and a part of me will always want to believe that. In a week's time it would be a year, and it is still as raw as it was then. They say time heals everything, but then does it? I don not know, I guess you just learn to live with it, the wound heals but the scar remains and it pains every now and then. I think I will never quite come to terms that Dimdims is no more, even now I have this urge to pick up the phone and dial her number, hoping that she would pick up, only to hear the long trail of the phone ringing.

Everything else pretty much remains the same, yes May is finally over, and not without pricking me.  Mum met with a series of accidents, well nothing sever but she is a fair bit of pain. Oh and as per the Hindu calendar Dimdims passed away in May, as well so that just one more to the list. I do not think something ever good will happen to me in this month, loosing 4 loved ones a nightmare hospital visit, injuries  in one month is just... oh well now I am out of words and I have no idea when this saga will end if it ever does. 

But on a happier note, I have taken up Tarot reading on a full time basis. I have been reading cards since the last 10 years, but I never quite thought that it would become such an important part of my life, Tarot has taught me to be patient, to reflect, to contemplate, to help to heal but most important, it has taught me to hope and to believe that sometimes things happen for a reason and one has to take it in ones stride and move on. There is a great sense of comfort and solace when I hold those 78 beautiful cards in my hands. Tarot is a what I would say tough love, it never tires, its patient knows no bounds and it is ever faithful, a mirror to your soul. It reaches out to the depth of your  subconscious being and the lessons it teaches, one would never learn in a classroom. Tarot gave me what I craved for all these years, my inner being that is, a healing touch to my soul, I found my self all over again, it is as if Tarot is my spiritual mother. 

Sometimes, one learns the hard way through loss grief and pain, that is when one values happiness, happiness of the that one still has and this precious gift called life. It is through the ebbs and flows of life, that one learns to live, believe and hope that there is always a better tomorrow.